


I think we deserved a better destiny my love

by Lighthouse_on_the_sea



Series: Once and future husbands [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, I Made Myself Cry, I hope you will cry with me, M/M, Why Did I Write This?, sadness overload
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 07:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lighthouse_on_the_sea/pseuds/Lighthouse_on_the_sea
Summary: << No man deserves your tears >><< You certainly not >>.How wrong I was.





	I think we deserved a better destiny my love

I think we deserved a better destiny my love

recommended soundtrack:

[My Merthur Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/53WFYHyFf25H2gkF4jCNC2?si=rpprhDYMSSaJ4zZKHB_72g)

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[ ](https://imgbb.com/) [ ](https://imgbb.com/)

I roll up my pants and start walking along the rocky shore.

A few steps and the water reaches my ankles.

It’s cold, like a touch of death and blue like your eyes.

Oh Arthur, your eyes, I miss them so much.

Through your eyes I didn’t feel like the monster that I always thought I was, I felt loved, at peace with the world, I felt at home.

It’s funny like now, the lake that took you away from me, has their color.

A cruel twist of fate to remind me that he will have you forever and I will never see you again or at least not in this life.

[](https://imgbb.com/) [](https://imgbb.com/)

I keep walking, the cold begins to envelop most of my body, a sign that the water has now reached my hips.

Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know, I don’t know anything anymore.

The only thing I’m sure of is that I can’t go on like this, I can’t stand the absence of friendly faces, I can’t stand your absence.

I’m living without really living.

After your death, I was never the same and I came to the conclusion that my soul died with you.

When I returned to Camelot, all our friends pointed it out to me.

I saw how this made them feel bad and then I tried to react, for them and for you, because I knew very well that you would not have approved my behavior.

Like that time when you told me << No man deserves your tears >> and I answered you << You certainly not >> how wrong I was.

You deserve all the tears I shed.

But now I don’t have to pretend anymore, our friends died one after another, first Gaius and last Gwen …

Now I am alone, I have no one with whom to share your memory, with whom to share the weight of your absence.

It is so painful to survive time

[ ](https://imgbb.com/) [ ](https://imgbb.com/)

I feel the cold of the water reaching my soul.

I’m close now.

Where are you my friend? My love.

Why don’t you come back to me? Can’t you see how lost I am without you?

By now I understood that the Great Dragon lied to me << When Albion needs his greatness Arthur will rise again >> he said.

So why are you still under this water?

There have been famines, diseases, epidemics and wars, many wars.

I’ve seen them all, you know? and I survived while everyone around me died.

Why did fate want this for me?

Is this the feeling of having water at your throat?

I spent 1,500 years without you, 788,900,000 minutes that we could have spent together.

I can’t stand this life tormented by remorse and loneliness, I want to reach peace, I want to reach you …

I feel the magic leaving my body.

With one last step, I dive completely.

The nostrils close and the lungs begin to require air, burn and hurt.

I don’t resurface, I made my choice, I’m coming back to you my King, my everything.

I can almost see you Arthur, wait for me.

I have no regrets, this water will be our home and we can finally be together.

A voice echoes in my head << I think we deserved a better destiny my love.

We are good people and we have suffered enough you don’t think? >> was it you talking?

Everything around me turns dark and I feel a pair of arms hugging me.

Now I feel at peace, I feel at home, I am with you, I have you all around me, I can finally be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> In a somewhat cynical way, I hope that you too have cried to read as much as I cried to write.  
LOTS


End file.
